What now?

This is mostly a vent out of frustration, because I really don't have anyone to talk about this with, and I think quite honestly, it'll help me just to get it out. Also, I do realize that I need to update from Christmas and everythign else that's going on, but right now, I just need to get some stuff out.

Ok, so on to my rant. Currently, I am 11 weeks pregnant, and that is the basis for the whole issue this particular blog is devoted to. Now, being in the military, we have good health coverage. As long as we are on what is called Tricare Prime, everything is covered 100%. It's amazing. No copays no deductibles, no nothing, just go to the dr and go home. When I had Gav, it was 100% on their dime, I didn't pay a cent. Being under this coverage though is what I have an issue with. Like I said, its GREAT, it's amazing that we are offered this kind of benifit. The issue is (and I believe why you hear "I HATE TRICARE" so often) is that you have to be seen at a Military Treatment Facility (MFT) if they have room to provide service for you. This is where my issue is. Right now, they want me to go and deliver Baby #2 at Langley Airforce Base, which has it's own devoted hospital. (therefore not costing the military money to send me to a civilian hospital.)
Well, Langely is where I delivered Gavin at, and I had nothign but problems while I was there. Honestly, with all of thing things that went wrong while I was there, I am truely scared to go back into that hospital again.
A few highlights from my delivery there (although the list is much longer, these are the worst offences in my mind):
*was told that I would hear within 12-24 hours if I had pre-eclampsia. However, 3 days later I got a call saying to get myself in immedaitly because I had advance pre-e and was at high risk of having a stroke. (great, glad i didnt have a stroke in the 3 DAYS before I should have known!)
*was asked if I would allow a student to place my epidural. I said no, I didnt even want the student in the room watching. The student was not only in the room, but attempted to place my epidural *3* times while the "supervising doctor" was turned around talking on the cell phone. When I tried to ask for her to stop or to call for another dr. I was told to "shut up, it'll be over faster if I was still and quiet".
*had 26 hours of unnecessary labor. Had they done an ultrasound when I arrived (as I requested) then they would have known that Gavin was to big, and would not be coming out naturally.
*After the resulting c-section, while I was still in the hospital "recovering" they would regularly take Gavin and do his testing and things like that. They took him one day and returned with a different baby! I didnt notice it because she (yes they brought me a girl!) was faced away from me and I could only see blanket and hat, and my mom asked why they put a pink shirt on him and turned "him" around for me to see, yeah, it was a little asian girl that they had brought and left with us. When Iwas talking to the head nurse, and of course crying because to me, Gavin was missing at that point, she told me to "hush and calm down, its not that big of a deal" Ok, so if bringing the wrong baby and LEAVING it unattended with people other than his/her parents isnt a big deal, I'm certainly not having my child there.

I suppose my biggest issue here is that they say as long as they have "space available" for you, that they (the MTF) will provide your care. This is my problem, what is the definition of having space availalbe? Everytime I was seen there, I had to wait 5-6 weeks for an appointment. Critical bloodwork that is preformed during pregnancy takes 5+ weeks to get the results back for. A life threatening complication to me and my child was missed for DAYS, when I was supposed to be alerted within hours. Up until you are farther along in pregnancy (I believe until 3rd trimester) you are seen in GROUP appointments. Meaning, you go to your appointment with 15 people that are around the same point in pregnancy as you. You have your prenatal appoints with 10-15 total strangers, and no personal care. To me, these things say that there is not adequate space available. This is the major flaw of the Tricare/Military healthcare system. There is a problem in that they will claim to have space available to treat you, when in fact, there is not. All of the things I mentioned to me, say that that is not adequate care, and definatly not personalized and comfortable care when I think a woman deserves it most.
I am working with the patient advocate right now trying to be released from care, but she is isgnoring me. Completly. I am 11 weeks and I have not been to a doctor once. I've tried explaining everything to her, giving a detailed factual list of what happened when I delivered Gavin there, and have been told that she will "let me know" if I'm released from care there. Without being released from care at the MTF they designated me to, my insurance is no good, anywhere and everythign will be out of pocket.
I'm truly at a crossroads. I do not feel safe at this hospital, I can not and will not subject myself of my child to that again.
I do have one option, which I most likly will be taking, becuase I need to go to the dr and have proper prenatal care, is to change from aforementioned Tricare Prime, to Tricare Standard. With standard, I have copays and deductibles, as well as services that are not covered. However, I can go to the doctor/hospital of my choice. Including civilian care. My primary care manager (pcm) through Tricare Prime, is a civilian. (because all of the MTF women's care clinics were full of undoubtably pregnant women because that is ALL they see at the Langley Women's Clinic) So, when I talked to Tricare, and asked if I could have my referal to stay with my current PCM, I was told no, that I had to go to the MTF that had availablity. So now, to continue seeing the doctor that I have seen for the last year, and I really like, I am going to have to pay out of pocket, which really bites, because I really don't feel that it should be this way. After all, the military touts their "free healthcare" so much, its supposed to be the one big perk of being in the military, and now I'm going to have to CHOOSE to take myself out of the supposed "wonderful free healthcare" and enroll in the "pay for it if you want to see a qualified doctor" plan. I've appealed to the hospital and to Tricare, and nothing has come of it. It's getting to the point that I really need to be getting appropriate care, and Langley just can not offer it to me. So yeah, it's on to paying for my "free healthcare". (of course I'll willingly pay to feel like I can safely deliver my child, its more the principle at this point)
Like I said though, I really don't have a beef with Tricare, it the specific MTF that I am dealing with. I hear so much Tricare bashing on a regular basis, but honestly, I've never had a single issue with Tricare. Langley on the other hand, the one specific hospital that happens to be the closest MFT to my house, is a problem. I don't want to be mixed into the "tricare whiners" group, because I'm actaully very grateful to tricare for the coverage they provide, and as they have said, their hands are tied. As soon as Langely releases me from their care, they'll be happy to put me with the occice/hospital of my choice. Langely however, and their patient advocate (great title for someone who completly ignores me on a regular basis and has no concern over my situation) are completly blocking the process. UGH.
Anyway, there's my rant for now, I really just needed to get it out of my system and seeing it writen out does actaully help. Anyways, keep your fingers crossed that somthign good happens from this!

Life updates!

Well, I haven't updated in a while. We've been busy, Nick's been working crazy hours, and I'm busy working and playing with Gavin. Last weekend we had "Christmas" with Nick's family, since we'll be heading to Arizona for Christmas with my family. We had a really nice time, and had the added bonus of Blaine and Ginger being able to come up. It was a very welcome suprise, since we don't get to see them nearly as often as we would like.

We had a great time, Gavin LOVED opening presents. It was really fun to watch him since this was the first time he really understood that he was allowed to rip the paper, and he had a blast doing it. He got tons of new toys, and nick and I made out pretty well ourselves. It was a great weekend. Here's a few pictures of the big time everyone had this weekend. :)
He of course wanted to play with the first one he opened and had no interest in opening anymore.

Playing with the remote control car.

Favorite gift of the day? Mom's new boots.

You might have noticed in those pictures that Gavin is nursing his first black eye back to health. That's been pretty fun, and it's really exciting to take him in public for the last two weeks where his eye has been every color under the rainbow.
Christmas with the Hansen's was a great time, and we are really glad that they were able to come, albeit very last minute due to nicks schedule changes. Well, I'll be heading to Phoenix later this week, and nick will be getting into town on Christmas eve, since he has to work. Hoefully I'll get to catch up with some of you there!

One last little bit of whats going on in our lives, Gavin has an announcement: (with the nice yellow stage of "black" eye going)

8-14-09

Gavin's week!

Just some Gavin pictures that I've taken recently since I know everyone lives for them. ;) ;) As you can see, he recently recieved and early christmas present from mommy and daddy. He's totally in love with his new kitchen set, although mostly for the fact that he can open and close the doors as many times as he likes and mommy doesnt get upset for slamming them. He loves the little grill, it has lights and a "flame" inside it, it is pretty cute. He's always loved to play and do everything that mommy and daddy do, so now, he has his own kitchen, and loves to imitate whatever Nick and I do. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever.

As was the laundry help I recieved the other day. I was sorting out clothes, and then went to old and put away and could not find my laundry basket. I looked over the back of the couch, and sure enough, Gavin had stole my basket, and was now using it as a recliner, and cuddlign with my super soft socks. (He's very much in love with anything soft, and luckily they were clean!)

We also let him try his hand at eating with a spoon for the first time a couple of days ago. He was pretty excited, and made pretty much the biggest mess possible out of two spoonfuls of applesauce, but it sure was fun.

Not a whole lot going on around here, just the regular everyday stuff. Currently, Gavin is cutting 4 teeth. This is not making life fun for any of us. He is completly refusing to nap, or sleep at night, which is completly frustrating, but we'll survive. He's also fighting off a bit of a runny nose right now, which I assume is from his flu shot since the same thing happened list year when he got it. He's doing well over all, he's really starting to talk now. His newest things to say are "I good" "all done!" "and "duck quack". (which comes from his favorite book of the week, 5 little ducks.) I really am amazed, it seems like every day he picks up more and more, and he doesnt even seem to realize he's doing it. It's crazy!

Anyway, I just wanted to put out a couple new pictures and stories about what our daily life entails.

I hope everyone's week is going well so far!

Fall Fun!

Well, not a ton to update with, fall is here! I love it! We took Gavin to a pumpkin patch a couple of weeks ago, he loved it. He loved running through the pumpkins (aka away from mommy) and feeling everything he could get his hands on. (he's really into textures right now)

For Halloween, our little guy was a bat. It was the funniest thing. I don't have many pictures of it, because we went to a friends house (the owners of the turtle) and when we got there, I found out that my camera batteries were dead, so, I had to steal what pictures I do have from them. I do plan on dressing him up in it again and getting some good pictures, even if Halloween has officially passed.
Gavin also had his 15 month check up. He's doing great, he's now 30lbs and 33inches. What does that mean? It means he's huge. He's doing great though, he's talking so much. It seems like over the last week or two he has just started talking up a storm. He now says mom, dad, dog, go, hi, bye, yeah and no. My favorite right now is "I love" which is what he says for I love you. He also says "I good". As in me saying "Gavin, be good, sit on the couch, don't stand." and he says "I good!" in response. It really is the funniest thing ever, and it totally took me by suprise the first time he said it.

He is getting such a personalitly now. He makes Nick and I smile every day, and every day we say we couldn't love him any more, but he proves us wrong the next day. I never would have imagined that rasing a child could be so much fun. I always thought it would be a ton of work, but really, I dont mind it at all, it doesnt seem like work. Everytime I start to get frusterated or tired of it, his curly head pops out from behind the couch and I hear "mama, I love" It's the sweetest thing and it melts my heart every time. Every morning I wake up and wonder what he's going to do or say today. He really is the best thing to ever happen to Nick and I.

A long awaited update

Ok, so, I've been lame and havent updated in a long time. My bad. I have been busy though. We have had a parade of visitors through our house. (and I'm not just talking about the ants that decided to move in.. ug!) It's been a lot of fun, but really tiring!

Last weekend, my grandparents drove out here from IL and visited. It was really nice to see them, and I think that they really enjoyed seeing gavin again. They hadent seen him since he was 6 weeks old, so needless to say the changes were very obvious!

The weekend before that, my parents came out. It was great to see them, since it had been a LONG time. Nick was working of course, the noon to midnight shift, so he wasnt around a lot, but, my parents and I had a good time. I of course put dad to work, and he built an awesome mantle for our fireplace that was desperatly wanting one. (yes, the fireplace wanted it.. it told me.)

In other news, since I last posted, I have started working. Sort of. I'm watching another little boy mon- fri. It works well though since he's 18 months, and I take gavin with me when nick is either sleeping or not home, and he gets some interaction with another kid, which is really good for him.

Gavin's doing great though, he's getting big, FAST! He's walking (scratch that, running) and getting bigger every day. We've been taking advantage of the end of the super nice weather lately, complete with trips to the zoo, the park, and the beach. We've had a lot of fun, and kiddo loves to be outside. We'll see how this winter goes, when we're all couped up here in the house. Hopefully, it'll be mild enought to bundle up and go run energy off in the backyard. If not, we'll just have to pack up and go to Phoenix so we can have some outside time. (I doubt there would be much opposition from my parents.)

Anyway, thats about all there is going on here, just nick working a ton, he's still on shift work, so he isnt home often at all, and we're trying to just be thankful for our one weekend a month that he gets off, but it does get old. Why can't he just have a normal life? Oh wait, he's in the navy, thats why. Anyway, I got excited and decorated the house with autum colors the other day, and its putting me in such a good mood. I love the colors of fall, and my autum leaves on the mantle, as well as my pumpkins and pretty orangy-red flowers are so pretty to look at! Well, nick is getting up now (yes, its 4 in the afternoon..) and gavins starting to squeak his waking up squeaks from his room, so I'm off to get both of them and hopefully have a nice evening before nick takes off for work at 9. Hope all is well for everyone else! I'll leave you all with one of my favorite pictures from the zoo. It's both my boys, how did I get so lucky?!

Gavin update

Insipred by another post on a friends blog, I have decided to update everyone on Gavin's latest statistics. He had his 12 month dr appt, and it went pretty terribly, but in the end, after switching doctors, filing a complaint against the old dr, getting another appt at a new place today and having the bigger issues checked out, we're as good as new. So, on with the updates!
Weight - 28lbs 8 oz. (yeah, I know)
Height - 33inches (again, I know)
Teeth - 12 and currently cutting the two bottom eye teeth. He has the top and bottom middle four, as well as one molar each side top and bottom.
Favorite toys - "big fluffy dog" and the ride on airplane. He also loves his truck to push and his baby bible. He will play with any book, but his soft baby bible is his favorite.
Favorite food - cheerios. And any and all fruit. He's not picky though, he'll eat anything as shown by his height and weight.
Favorite games - run from mommy. screech at mommy. (we do a lot of those two.) He also loves "hug big fluffy dog" If you say that he will run to big fluffy dog, screech and collapse on top of him giggling and hug and kiss him. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever.
Words - He says mama, dada, (mom and dad if he's mad.) wawa, bottle (we finally broke him of baba, he now says bottle! It was a big achievement for us!) dog, bye, and more. (he will also sign for more which was very exciting, he didnt screech, just used his hands! imagine!)

New tricks.

In the last couple of days, Gavin has learned a couple of new "tricks". I of course think it means he's the most advanced child in the world, however I do know in the back of my mind, it is normal developement.

So, yesterday, as he and I were sitting in the living room floor having our normal afternoon playtime, I picked up a ball and rolled it to him. He then, picked the ball up looked at it, and rolled it back to me. We rolled the ball back and forth for about a half hour. He thought it was really funny, and I of course though it meant he was a brilliant future world leader.

Also yesterday, as we were sitting at dinner, Nick and I at the table, and Gavin in his chair eating a snack, since he had eaten his dinner earlier in the evening, Gavin was protesting and threw his rice crispies (aka cereal with highest mess potential for babies) on the floor. I told him no, and that I would take them away if he threw more on the floor. (I'm not a fan of throwing food.) For whatever reason, he looked at me and I guess he saw a very serious face, and felt the need to break the tention, but, he decided to pull out a new trick for us. Bear with it, its a little hard to explain, but he started making noise and running his arm/hand over his mouth. This is the equivilent of tapping your hand over your mouth while making sound. (We used to call it "sounding like an Indian" but I'm pretty sure that would be the most un-PC thing ever to call it.. so, we'll call it tapping over your mouth) Anyway, it was pretty funny, and I'm not sure where exactly he learned that from since I have never done that to him or in front of him. The closest I've done is just covering his mouth when he's shrieking, but for whatever reason, this new noise is pretty fun, and we hear it pretty frequently now.

In other news, I'm going to start watching a little boy now, he is 15 months old, so I'm really excited to let he and Gavin get to know eachother a little bit better and really see them interact. They have played together once, and really seemed to enjoy playing together, Gavin had a ball playing with him and was mimicking everything he did. Hopefully he'll start mimicking his walking here soon. Today he took a few steps on his own, without me encouraging it, he just turned around from the couch and started walking. I think it will be soon! One of these days I expect him to just not even try and hold on anymore, I think he'll just get up and walk away! My life is about to get a whole lot busier!